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How India Survives?

According to Census 2001 A small interesting statistic - Go on and find the truth...

The population of India is 100 crores.
But did you know that facts....
19 crores are retired.That leaves 81 crores to do the work.
There are 25 crores in school, which leaves 56 crore to do the work.
Of this there are 22 crores employed by the Central Government, leaving 34 crores to do the work.
(as you know, government employees do not believe in working)
4 crores are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 30 crores to do the work.
Take from the total the 20 crores people who work for State Governments and
that leaves 10 crores to do the work.(They also do not work)
Total unemployed are 8 crores that leaves 2 crores to do the work.
At any given time there are 1.2 crore people in hospitals, leaving
80,00,000 to do the work. Now, there are 79,99,998 people in prisons. That
leaves just two people to do the work.......You and me.
And currently you're sitting at your computer reading jokes
So I am the only person in our country who is working!!!!!!
And that's why India is surviving!!!

A letter from Banta Singh

Dear Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have got a computer in our home 
and we face some Problem, which I want to bring to your notice.
After connecting to Internet we planned to open an email account.
But when ever we fill the Form of Hotmail, in password field only * comes.
But in rest of the fields whatever we typed comes but we faced the problem 
only in Password field. We checked with Hardware vendor and he said that there is no problem in keyboard.
Because of this we have opened the email account with password *****.
But I request u to check this as we our self don't know what is the password!!!.
The next one is that we are unable to enter anything after we shut down the computer.
There is a button for start but not for pause, stop as in stereo recorder.
We request you to add the same in future.
There is a option as RUN in menu. This one of my neighbor after clicking started running 
and he has run up to Amritsar from Chandigarh. So we request u change that to SIT.
So that we can click that by sitting.
One doubt is that can I click Re cycle bin. I own a scooter in my home.
Is there a separate option as Re scooter bin available in the system?
In Microsoft outlook we are able to see the outer view of the mail.
Is there an in look through which we can have inner view of the mail?
The last one is my wife has lost the door key of our house.
So I searched for the same in search option of start icon. But I did not find the same there also .
Is it a bug?
Rest In next letter.

Yours Anonymously
Banta Singh.

World War 3

Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."
So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
And Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
So Vajpayee turns to Bush and says,
"See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

Some QnA's

Q :) What is the thinnest book in the world?
A :) "What men know about women?"

Q :) Why do men like love at first sight?
A :) It saves them a lot of time.

Q:) Why hurricanes are mostly named after a woman?
A:) Because when they arrive, they are wet and wild and when they leave
      they take your house and car with them.

Sardar's Interview for Heaven

A Sardar died and went to heaven.
When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the
advances in education on earth.

In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:
1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

The Sardar thought for a few minutes and answered...
1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.
2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected,
so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"
The Sardar replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."
Saint Peter lets him in without another word.

A matter of destiny

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and exclaimed,
"Sala aaj bhi phisalna hoga". (Oh no, I've got to slip and fall again today)
Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed,
"Ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!! (Great!! So I've got a choice today !!)

Stupid Questions and Answers

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/friends...
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus:
A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.....why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral:
One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant:
When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is the "Butter Paneer Masala" good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together:
When some distant aunt meets you after years
Stupid Question:-Munna,Chickoo, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly shrunk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No,he's a miserable wife-beating ,insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the 
Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding......

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question:- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer:- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman in your office asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:- Gosh, it's a miracle ............it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!! 

Correct Way of Reading a Novel

A sardar was very fond of sensational and detective novels,
but he always started reading from the middle.
A friend of his asked why he did so?
"It's doubly interesting", said the Sardar.
"To start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion
but also about its beginning".

A love-hate letter

Read this "HATE letter". It is so funny and creative.
This is a loveletter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's father does not like him
and want them stop their relationship......and so..
the boy wrote this letter to the girl..he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..

1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."

So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to
the girl, the boy told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES",
meaning-only to read
(Odd No.)